Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Long Distance Relationships

Living far away from someone I love is a dreaded foe of mine. There are so many obstacles in keeping the relationship going. Time changes, schedules, other relationships, etc., etc., Some people are very good at it I've noticed and make a great effort to make phone calls, send notes and pictures and so on and so forth. Still, it's so much more wonderful to be a part of someone's life when they are with you and you with them...

My husband and have experienced this phenomena once again over the last couple of months. A girl I used to babysit when I was a teenager has just completed her traveling the world journeys before she begins her college studies. We had the privilege of hosting her for 2 months of our lives. I loved it as it has made the reconnection with her family even stronger and I actually got to know her as a young woman. Two months of a person living in your home really gives you a solid chance to know them on much more than a superficial level, which I just deeply relish to my core. They also have the chance to see the real you, and how you really live and what kind of a wife you really are and what kind of a mom you really are and how your family really operates...core stuff, but usually there are elements you'd rather not share with the outside world. I didn't mind so much in this situation. I already loved this girl even though I didn't know her personally. Her parents had a tremendous impact on my life and were there for me through a lot of my teenage turmoil, her parents dearest friends are also some of my dearest friends, so an automatic bond existed before she ever arrived.

I remember one day she came with us to do some government business, and one of my husbands friends came along as well. I think I talked to her nonstop the entire morning. My husband's friend said I was hungry for someone to talk to. She listened so graciously to my goings on. I just really love young people. I love teenagers and college students and I love how exciting their lives are at this age. There's so much ahead of them, so many important decisions. Not just what degree should I go for and where should I go to school, but What do I believe? What do I think is important in life? in people? What are my values, goals, dreams, aspirations, desires, fears, roadblocks, hurdles, etc., etc. So anyway, I just really like and love talking with them about their lives. And it's always an added plus if I actually have anything to contribute to their lives....so my 19 year old girlfriend got the brunt of this love. hehe

She was so great around the house. She did my dishes way too many times. I didn't even try counting as I would be so embarrassed to know how often she actually did them, but in my third trimester state of pregnancy I didn't fight her very much, because I hate doing the dishes anyway. And she so loved my boys, and they fell in love with her immediately upon arrival. The fact is, we bonded and now....well....she's gone. Now I have another long distance relationship to contend with. Another person that I long to be even more a part of their lives than what has been granted me. I've missed so much of so many people's lives of people that I still love. I know the Lord is exhorting me to pursue loving relationships even if you miss out on some things, because it is worth for His Name's Sake. He will always reward those efforts in pursuing relationships for His Name's Sake.

The house feels empty. She became a part of our life, our family. Anytime she comes back (and I am expecting her to come back and bring at least 4 women with her, cackling women are preferred....major hints here) I know it will be as if she never left. Goodbye tears sting. But the promise of a future hello dilutes the sting and makes it tolerable....for now.

3 comments:

darlene said...

Kim, I am sure you eloquently conveyed the hearts of many kindred
spirits. . .so insightful and so
true. Just so you know, if you ever write a book, I will read the
whole thing and share it with everyone I know. I love the heart
you share when you write. I love
you. Some things you just don't
care if anyone else reads. . .thank
you for the sacrifice you and Jay
make on behalf of our Lord. Love you both so much.

Tim Austin said...

congrats on the new boy kim, i miss you guys like crazy.

Anonymous said...

<3